Gilderoy Lockhart: Oh, come now. They're only pixies!
Well I went and started a new cycle on the first of the month and let me tell you that I am experiencing the worst cramps I have had in years. I've literally been living on Advil these last few days.
Otherwise I am doing well.
Especially mentally.
I thought I was going to be not ok seeing that I really thought there was a good chance that I was pregnant.
Something happened this month and I feel very calm about this whole ttc.
I have come to realize that it is not my fault that we are not pregnant yet. I can pee on a stick each morning to tell me when I will ovulate. And I can take my temperature each morning to tell me that I have ovulated. And James and I can have perfectly timed sex and that is all we can do.
We can only try our best and if it doesn't happen then as of right now it is out of our hands.
It was a very cathartic realization. Mind you it was a very basic and logical realization but it was so needed.
I went out to dinner on Wednesday with some old co-workers and one is 7.5 months pregnant. I sat there looking at her bump and all I felt was happy for her. I was pretty proud of myself.
There was the usual awkward moment when someone asked me when I was going to be pregnant and I really hate that moment. I had just spoken to my Boss about it before everyone arrived and she agreed that asking a woman about being pregnant or having kids is something that should never be done. I don’t understand how people cannot realize that if a married/committed couple don’t have kids it’s either that there is a problem or they are childless by choice; and either way it’s no one’s business.
I really need to come up with a better answer than “Not yet” or “Not today”.
In other news I finally watched The Business of Being Born and loved it. I really think that every person in North America should watch that documentary.
I know that when James and I do become pregnant I’m going to force our families to watch it so that they understand most of the reasons why we will be having a home birth.
If you haven’t seen it yet you really should.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
A new cycle has begun.
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4 comments:
I so feel you, I really wish that people would get that it is a question that just shouldn't be asked.
I tend to fumble, make some joke about not really liking children enough yet, blah blah, but I hate that. I finally flat out told someone yesterday that I had a very complicated miscarriage and that I'm waiting again and really she shouldn't ask anyone. With. Not. A. Single. Ounce. Of. Guilt. When. She. Looked. Horrified.
Good for you! Sometimes you just have to tell people to mind their own business.
It just sucks.
Random surfing brought me here. Anyway I know Elaine tells her in-laws when they ask about them having kids "Next thurs"
Oh hey.. i actually have an account here. Weird. Anyway.. ~hugs~ Hope everything is good with you all.
Hey Cin!
thanks for the comment. I'll have to go check out your new site. Do you still LJ?
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