On Vanity, or how I'm trying to deal with this body of mine.

While bored the other day I started searching through podcasts to see what’s out there. I came across a bunch from the Ford Model Agency and subscribed to the Beauty Tips one. I actually thought it would be a bunch of technical segments with the usual “How to Create a Smokey Eye Look” but it’s actually got some really great practical advice. I went out and bought some J&J Baby Oil and now not only is my skin super soft but I also smell like a baby’s butt! Go me.

I’ve been going through this whole needing to look pretty stage that ultimately ends up with me being super depressed but so far I’m just mildly sad. On Friday I went down to Holt Renfrew and bought a NARS lip gloss in Scandal and tried on a NARS Velvet Matte lip pencil in Dragon Girl ~ which is shockingly red. I was so self conscious walking out of that store but by the time I got home I loved it! I’m going to go and buy it soon. It was the first time I’ve been in the new Holt’s and I was so nervous. I know it’s silly but I was. I don’t ever wear lipstick and I really wanted to start. I finally walked up to a pretty cool looking girl and asked for advice. She sat me down and applied 4 or 5 colours on me. I also thought that anyone working there would be super pushy but she came right out with two of them and said they weren’t the right ones for me and told me not to get them. Also with the lip pencil she told me to go home and see how I feel with it on before I bought it. I thought that was pretty neat! I also have an appointment on Friday to get my hair cut ~ I’m leaning towards a Katie Holmes inspired bob. I’m just so tired of my damn hair, I need something new. But I’m thinking it may make me look like I’m 12. We shall see.

I also made the mistake of going to purchase new work clothes in my bid to look pretty. I just need to accept that I don’t fit into the Asian styles that Vancouver carries. I’m not even a size 6 anymore and trying to fit into skin tight sweaters and shirts is just not flattering. So instead I bought myself super comfy PJ’s and came home to sob to James on how ugly I feel. So now I’m just hanging out in my PJ’s and drinking some chamomile tea. Hopefully this little funk lifts soon cause I’m not sure how much lower I can feel with other things not going so well.