To Do:

holly hobby, originally uploaded by Melanie Jennifer.

I just finished an amazingly busy week and somehow survived. I am the type of person that if I have more than two things planned for my week, my anxiety starts to kick in.

This past week I had something on my agenda each day. Besides being a very busy work week I knew that I was taking a huge risk.

I did well until Thursday when I finally had a meltdown. I didn't get home until almost 9 pm when I realized that I could have gotten a few things at the mall that I was just at. This meant that I would have to take another trip there and that drives me crazy. It is such a waste of my time.

When I realized this I let out a very loud and nasty expletive which got James attention. He asked me if I was ok and that is when I lost it. I yelled out “No!” and when he went on to ask me what was wrong it was as if a dam broke. I found myself venting everything that was going on both in my life and in my head. I didn’t realize it but I was really losing control at that point. It wasn’t until James literally came over and grabbed hold of both of my arms and told me that I was going to be ok that it hit me.

At one point during my outburst I was almost screaming. This is very unlike me. I guess that something had to give and since I still cannot cry I got angry instead.

Now that my week from hell is over I find myself once again cheerful and optimistic. When I left work on Friday (after working ten hours) I almost felt a little high. My smile was so huge and I felt as though all my worries were no longer important.

This weekend I have a ton of things to do as well but it somehow seems ok. They are things that I can choose to do instead of having to do and that makes all the difference in my books.

So to keep track I would like to:
☑ have a wonderful massage
☑ do 2 loads of laundry
☑ vacuum
☑ finish my Christmas cards
☑ decorate the apartment for Christmas
☐ read some of my books
☑ pick up some produce @ the market
☑ return my nieces’ Christmas gifts as I have changed my mind
☑ start wrapping presents
☑ go see the movie Twilight with friends
☐ nap
☑ relax