Love the Now

My nieces Brooke and Hope

Today has been a wonderful day. It was sunny and warm and I felt so in touch with myself. This week has been hard for various reasons but today was a wonderful end to the week. I made delicious brownies for my amazing husband and also have yummy cabbage rolls in the oven and our apartment smells wonderful.

I have been doing a lot of de-stressing lately and took the plunge and joined my local community centre gym. I have attempted to start an exercise program so many times I have lost count. And so all the self hate came back as I walked to the centre and by the time I arrived I was fuming mad at myself. But as I sat there doing my warm up stretches the phrase “No one can predict their day” came into my head. This statement has become sort of my motto lately; it really is the only thing that gets me through my day sometimes. The premises is that no one can determine how their day is going to turn out, and that if you go into the day with preconceived ideas then you have already set the motion for your day to end a certain way. But if you let go of all that then you allow for the possibility that things might turn out ok.

As these thoughts made their way around my anger I realized that nothing really matters except the fact that I’m trying to better myself ~ that I’m giving myself the gift of love and health. It doesn’t matter if I’m not as strong or fit as the person beside me, or that my pants have bunny fluff all over them. The only thing that should matter to me is the reason why I’m there.