A bit of success.

John William Waterhouse; The Crystal Ball; 1902

Wednesday I had my laparoscopy and it was a complete success! I cried when my Dr came in to tell me the news. Thankfully James was there because I don’t really remember what was said as I had *just* woken up. I really love this Dr and he even wrote me a note to take home. It reads:


Melanie:
You have/had endometriosis.

Both of your tubes are open – I did canulate both to confirm this.

I have cauterized the endometriosis.

I would suggest that you make an appointment to see me to discuss this.

Thanks,
Dr McComb

P.S. Feel free to attempt conception mean while.


Wednesday night was one of the calmest nights I have had in ages.

Even now I sit here with real true hope.

And yet there is a blinding fear that is still here. I am scared that even though we have all this good news that there will still be some unknown reason why we can’t get pregnant.

I am scared that I am so close to conceiving now but that it won’t happen for me. All day Wednesday before the lap I kept saying to James that I really need to Let Go. Let go of all this fear, and anxiety. Let go of not trusting my body and not trusting the universe.

I plan on doing some major work with these concepts. And sometimes I wish that I did have a magical crystal ball that could see into the future. Although I am one of those people that likes surprises; I don't think I would do well having concrete answers.