Have Faith. Believe. *

me snuggling Domino on the floor, July/08

My appointment last Thursday went well. She looked over my history and my charts (I printed them off and brought them in). She said straight out that something is definitely wrong. She talked a lot about statistics and how after 2 years of trying that someone my age should already have a child.

The Dr reaffirmed to me that as a healthy adult we have a 20% chance of conceiving any given cycle – which works out to a 1 in 5 chance. This obviously means that we should have conceived by now.

I asked some of the hard questions that I was dreading the answers to but she said that we have been doing everything right and that my having been on the pill for over 10 years does not affect fertility. She also assured me that more sex is no guarantee that you will get pregnant. Really the day before and the day of ovulation are the key days and as long as you time your sex on one of those days that should do the trick.

I feel so very much calmer now that I know we weren’t working against ourselves on those months that we only managed to have sex on one of those two days.

So on a plus side a few issues have already been ruled out because I do not have any obvious signs of them.

But this does mean that tests are in order. I have 2 pages of blood work to be done. James has a semen analysis to be done. And the scary one for me is going to be the hysterosalpingogram (trying saying that 5 times fast). I was told that it can be extremely painful but that the pain only lasts about 5 minutes. Yikes!

The next day I googled the test and sure enough women either felt nothing or the pain was the worst they had ever experienced and they almost fainted or feel off the table. Oh Joy!

But at least I will hopefully find some answers. Which is the next thing we talked about at the appointment.

The Dr was very informative as to what the next steps will be and she again talked about statistics in regards to finding answers. I believe she said that of the couples that come to their office 35% are due to male infertility factors, another 35% are due to female factors and the rest well they just don’t know. We also had a good talk about the options for intervention – IUI, IVF, clomid, etc.

And while some people may be a little overwhelmed with this info it was all very enlightening to me.

I have spent that last week doing a lot of soul searching and I now know what I am willing to do to become a parent and when I am going to say stop. Because of this I feel so much peace and I now know that no matter what I will be a Mother.

I sit here smiling just writing that out.

My next appointment is in the beginning of September when James and I will find out the results and talk about our next steps.

Until that time I am just going to enjoy being married and being happy.

*This has become my personal mantra lately.