Yearning for Fall.

1. Bye, Bye, Autumn, 2. Mirror of autumn, 3. Autumn lake - Lac d'automne

I love this time of year when things start to cool off and life starts to slow down.

One of the things I miss the most from Ontario is the amazing fall colours. While BC has beautiful huge trees in comparison we never do get the crisp golds, yellows and browns of autumn.

On this second day of September I find myself wanting to start hibernating. I feel this way every year.

The need to cocoon myself away with my little family of 3 becomes unbearable some days and today is no exception. I woke up this morning with intense stomach/abdominal pains to the point that I am also becoming sick to my stomach.

I am now of course concerned that this is a result of a complication from the HSG but in reality this is probably a case of acute anxiety attack. I felt it coming on all day Sunday and with the realization that my follow up appointment is only 2 days away I am becoming more anxious.

I know this is illogical as there is really nothing I can do until we find out definite results and even then there may be no need to worry. But I have always worried, since I was a kid I can remember worrying about little things. I have been working on this for the past 3 years but some days it takes over and I lose control of it.

I now need to let go of this and just remember to breathe.